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How To Joyfully Choose When You Are Unfocused and Stuck

It’s Friday morning and the kids are off to school and work and I’m aware that I immediately feel like my “flex day” is full.

 

Because it is.

 

I blocked much of the day off to “get stuff done,” but because I didn’t consciously choose what that stuff would be, the day just filled up.

I responded to everything with “yes,” instead of thoughtfully and joyfully choosing how I’d spend my day.

 

My kryptonite is my love to do and have and experience. I’m a “yes” gal. This results in frustration almost 100% of the time. If this is a pattern in your life, you might also identify with type 7 on the Enneagram, but this writing isn’t just for you. I’m writing to talk about the universal human experience of making choices.

 

I’m reminded of an episode of The Middle, circa 2014, where the family gives Frankie (Patricia Heaton) a “day off” for Mother’s Day. She decides she just wants to sit on the couch with a bag of chips and catch up on some TV.

 

But the remote needs batteries so she heads to the kitchen junk drawer. Before she knows it, she has spent Mother’s Day on the floor, reorganizing all the kitchen drawers. When her family returns, having had a great time at an amusement park, she feels

 

  • jealous
  • left out
  • overwhelmed; and
  • resentful

 

As I recall, when she finally does sit down with the remote control, front and center on the couch, she learns that the potato chip bag she’s eating from contains Axl’s toenails. Ew. But I digress…

 

There might not be toenails in your potato chip bag, but you probably notice a familiarity in the way you plan and execute your day.

 

If your family is younger, you might relate to Laura Numeroff’s book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

 

While I love The Middle and loved reading this book with my kids, both hit a little too close to home. They reminded me of the ways I felt victimized, sad, overwhelmed, and stuck.

 

I want to invite you to notice your relationship to choices. More specifically, how do you make choices about how you really want to spend your time?

 

Do you, like Patricia Heaton, just keep forging ahead, doing the next thing, despite the fact that it wasn’t how you’d planned your day? Or do you make conscious choices and move forward from there?

 

Conscious choices are made when you live at the intersection of

  • what you feel in your gut – what we call the “felt sense”
  • what you want; what really matters to you; and
  • possibility – what makes sense?

 

We need to include all three aspects of our intelligence.

 

Whenever you say no to something, you say yes to something else.

 

What do you want to joyfully choose today?

Christina Granahan

Christina Granahan

Enneagram-informed coach + therapist

I teach you how to use your Enneagram type to realize the relationships and success that you’ve been chasing at work, home, or school. Let's connect and see how I can help you.

You have one life. Let’s get you living it.

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